Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Dark Side of Sod...6


OMG… (After reading this note) please do me a favor and close your eyes! Imagine that you died 2 weeks ago. Picture your family…how they are dealing with the reality that you will never be around them physically… again, may surprise you! Although we would like to think that we are loved, missed and that our existence here “made a difference” in the lives of others, death can do some whacky things to families. It seems to either strengthen the family unit or tear it apart. Strengthening because the family was solid and had an informed positive outlook about human mortality, understanding that death happens…deal with it. Tear it apart because…money, greed, or existing family dysfunction is the bloody culprit for driving a wedge through the heart of a family. 

Now consider your stuff…your personal things (all of your personal things)…do you realize that at some point, everything you have will be touched by someone else? Your closets…and drawers… the bathroom… the cabinets…on and on, would be opened and sifted through. What are people looking for? They may be looking for your personal information like your social security number, (hopefully) life insurance policy numbers etc., and where’s the will? At death, time is of the essence and the family has been required to answer, address or consider over 130 questions within 48 hours of your passing. Do they have what they need to accomplish this?

At some point everything about you will eventually be exposed. Just thinking about the potential ripple effect in the family as a result of what was found or the frustration in finding it…may be difficult in some cases and cause unnecessary stress. 

What about your house? Where will your family living with you now be living in the future? Does anyone want the house, and can they afford to maintain it? Will it be sold, or abandoned at some point?

There was an estate sale of a person who died. There were items lying on the table that had obviously meant a lot to the deceased at one time. Personal things like Certificates of Achievement, photographs, service medals… the immediate family did not share the same sentiment as the “pickers” that came in to score a deal. The emotion attached to what was once family heritage was gone, as it became just another item on a shelf. Do we ever think about what happens to our stuff after we die? Do we ever think about thinking about it? Most would say..."Um...NO!" Do we really care about it? There is no right or wrong answer...it like everything else, is a personal thing.

Consider where you are with your financial situation now, and after you die, what’s the deal with your money? Who’s responsible for your debts, and can they handle this responsibility? Is there enough money to cover the debts you’ve left behind? What would your family or the Executor of your estate be going through in order to legally satisfy all requirements needed by the State or Federal government (s) when someone dies?
Got pets? If you are a pet parent, what provisions did you make in advance for someone to take and care for this furry child of yours? Making arrangements for animals are just as important. There have been cases where pets have either been euthanized or taken to the shelter because no one could or wanted to assume their care. But that’s another topic in itself, more on that later.

If you're concerned in anyway with the visual you’re getting here, please take whatever steps necessary to make this visual…a good one. You can use this image as a tool to  alleviate any potential problems for your survivors later. By doing this you will help us (on this side) cultivate healthy survivors.
For some, the picture is fine because they don’t care about arrangements or have an opinion about death, indifferently they say things like…”Let the kids take care of it!” The entire responsibility will be placed on their family…just like their parents did. (And the kids weren’t aware of this plan) Others may have imagined that the “fight is on”; as their family argued in life…they continue to argue about everything. Even death would be no exception for them. : ) 

FYI- After your funeral, your family will quickly begin to notice that life goes on… traffic lights continue, the guy sitting in the car next to them is jamming to the radio listening to one of their favorite tunes…the phone rings…some are lost and don’t think they can go on without you…some might be happy...there is usually money concerns as well. Is an inheritance is coming? How are they going to pay off the credit card they used to bury you? The “business” part of your life can literally go on for months…just about the time the grass starts growing on your plot at the cemetery, the books are closed. Depending on what a person has or is involved in, it could take years to close.

I mention this because people don’t typically think past their death and consider what could be happening with the people they care about as a result of their death.

Families are dealing with death and its processes happen every day…just look at the obituaries online or in your local newspaper. Somebody… somewhere, is going through it. If this is not you…you just got lucky this time.

Be well friend. Celebrate the day, your life & do what you can to make a difference…always.