Friday, March 7, 2014

The Dark Side of Sod...15

Beautiful Death…A Tribute to Margaret

We all think that the proper order of death in the family starts at the top. First it’s our grandparents, then our parents and followed by the kids. We feel that it is absolutely unacceptable to be any other way. Kids simply are not supposed to die before the parents. Ever! But when it happens…parents, no matter what age say things like, “I was supposed to go first!” or "this is not the way it's supposed to be!"

Margaret is 94. She reminds me of Ever Ready Bunny, she just keeps plugging along while the majority of people she knows and loves are dying. Her attitude about death now is basically, that when you get to the “end of the line” stage in life, the sting of death doesn’t hurt as bad as it once did. Her frequent visits to a local funeral home were almost as common as going on a trip to a grocery store. In one week, she said she went to 9 funerals!! Can you imagine? 

Last weekend Margaret's daughter Ann died at the very young age of 62 years. When Margaret told me her daughter died a couple of days ago, she seemed in shock that it happened, but she had a complete calmness about her. She was sad, yet she seemed at peace with life in general. She remains optimistic about the time she has left alive. She remarked that Ann’s death was so beautiful. I thought what more could a person ask for? To see your child enter into the world and then leave it…ready, comfortable, and with her family at her side. WOW! (I’ll have one of those please!)

Margaret said that her daughter had just been moved to a rehabilitation facility from a lengthy hospital stay. Everyone in the family thought she was getting better. But she took a turn for the worse. Margaret said “She was ready to go” and that “She had a happy death”. Margaret was sitting beside the bed holding her hand. Ann received her last rights. Margaret was telling Ann that it was OK to go. Ann’s last words on the planet were, “Hello Daddy”. And she died. Her father had been dead about 15 years.

I wanted to share her experience because so many times death gets a bad rap. There is a distinct possibility that the person moving on is comfortably happy to be done with their world. They have accepted the fact that THEY WILL CHANGE. Into what or how they change ultimately doesn’t matter to anyone but them.

Margaret is not afraid to change someday either. In the meantime…plug on Margaret!  ; )

Be well friends!
Julie Pope

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